Changing Seasons|CAST: Leah Little
Have you ever felt stuck? Yes, just stuck in a little rut of sorts? Yeah, that's where I am at, right now. I love what I do and the life I get to live and in no way am I complaining about the blessings that I have enjoyed, you know that! I rejoice that I am alive and well enough to be typing this message to you today. However, I do believe in the power of giving myself the space and respect to feel uncomfortable feelings instead of suppressing them! Being able to share them with a friend, like you is so helpful. Life for me right now is full of change. My husband and I are coordinating a class at our church and feel honored and ill-prepared, all in the same. My brand and business is evolving and growing and there are growing pains that come with it. My girls are older and require different things of me as a mother, I often feel so challenged by my feelings of inadequacy as a parent. My mother is not well, so our family is having to think of how she is going to be taken care of, yet she is resisting the vast change of her loss of independence due to age and illness. This is hard. Life is hard sometimes. Even with God's amazing EVERLASTING-NON-CONSEQUENTIAL-joy, challenges can certainly shake us to our core, am I right or am I wrong? LOL Thanks for listening! It helps to put down what is taking up precious space in my noggin.
If I truly think about it, it's my mom's situation the one that feels the most challenging right now since it's affecting so many people in my family! It's hard to go through so many changes that challenge our "normal". I have learned how to detach myself from feeling up or down with my outside circumstances. Some days I do this really well. Some days I fail miserably. Yet I chose different, now than I did five years ago more consistently, that makes me squeal of joy! We are a work in progress, right? I come from a Mexican family where the culture is ALL ABOUT FAMILY. In some was this served me quite well. And in some ways it didn't. I am now an adult and have the responsibility to choose how I want to show up. I have the responsibility to become as mature as I can, doing my part to getting healthy in all areas, especially my mind. I am working towards changing the thoughts I had about my responsibility to my family. I am a recovering, co-dependent, placater.
I want to choose differently this time. I want to have healthy boundaries. I want to believe I am not responsible for anyone's feelings and that all I can do for my family are a few things. 1- Pray. 2.- Help in the ways that do work for me and my immediate family 3.- KNOW and BELIEVE that I am enough.
It's hard to let go, but for our sanity's sake, we shall! For the sake of generations to come!
I think sometimes we get so stuck on outcomes. Stuck on the end goal. Stuck on trying to change someone to behave in a way that benefits us. Stuck on competing with ourselves. Trying to outdo whatever "great" thing we did last week. It's with certainty I can say that there is no need to top whatever you did last week because you are not some robot. You are a person who is trying to do their best. Some days you're gonna kill it, some days you're not. Performance-based love is NOT what God is about. He loves you through the trenches.
If you're up against a growing season, a painful season, a changing season, don't lose heart! Be CONFIDENT, the same "God who began a good work in you, WILL be faithful to complete it. " Philippians 1:6 You are not alone and I am right beside you, he whispers.
IF you are in a MOUNTAIN TOP season, I am rejoicing with you, so happy and excited for your happiness and joy and bubbly tummy rumbling of good vibes! Praise God for times of good cheer!
Wherever you are, I love you, friend. Thank you for reading! May you know you are not responsible for anyone else feelings. May you know you are loved through every failure and sin. Every mistake and victory! You are loved by your Heavenly Father, through and through!