What To Do When God Feels Completely Silent And My Prayers Aren’t Answered
Hello, beloved friend. I am so grateful you are here! If you searched this very moment to know how to hear God speak or to find comfort for unanswered prayers, my heart aches with you. I know you must be in a hard situation. God is holy. He is powerful. And yet some days, some minutes, some years—even some decades—can feel like He is silent and our prayers have gone unanswered.
This life has its very big ups and its very big downs. In the valleys, we often feel like God is distant, silent, and nowhere to be found. In the midst of our pain and suffering, we feel confused about why He hasn’t answered that one prayer we whispered fifteen years ago, or for some, fifty years ago.
I wish so badly that I could reach through this computer screen to hold your hurting heart and give you a real hug. I wish I could take away your pain, doubt, fear, anxiety, loss, grief, depression, anger, apathy, and hopelessness and replace it with hope. I wish I could jump into your story and wave a magic wand to make it all good for you. But I would be doing a disservice to the process of pain, and how it creates something deep within you that is far better than skipping ahead to the end of the story.
We all hate waiting. We all hate sorrow. We all hate feeling rejected and abandoned. When life hits you hard with something so devastating that you never could have imagined it, it feels like a punch to the throat and a terrifying feeling of, "I don’t think I can recover from this one." Our dog, Dodger, was attacked by a pit bull at the dog park two days ago. My husband and daughters were caught in the middle of the fight. They honestly thought they were bringing a dead dog back to our home. To make things worse, in spite of the chaos, hurt, and confusion, they were also verbally attacked by the owner of the other dog right afterward.
We had to rush Dodger to the vet ER. The vets said his thick hair saved his life—but we say JESUS and his hair saved his life! Now, as we are healing two days into this scary moment, we are just so thankful that nothing worse happened. It was a miracle my husband’s arms were okay after he had to physically punch the dog to get it off poor Dodger. To say the least, it’s been a very traumatizing few days.
And that isn't all. Just last weekend, I was in the ER myself. I spent days with absolutely no energy, literally feeling so awful! Then, my mom was almost admitted to the ER, too. My sister texted me, telling me Mom isn’t doing well and feels like she might be passing away soon. It’s just so sad to see your parents losing their health and life! It is the worst!
I feel so overwhelmed with deep, hard, and challenging emotions. This whole blog post was supposed to be a way to give you hope, but it has turned into a ministry to my own chaotic week.
What do we do when we feel like we need a break from these deafening, bone-chilling life circumstances? Well, we just keep swimming. Sometimes we just have to show up one minute at a time, trusting the Holder of the universe. Trust me when I say this is way easier said than done. I am not trying to tell you to do something I am not willing to do myself. I, too, got on my knees and thanked Jesus for this season. I thanked Him for it all, because I know there is a purpose behind my trouble.
I don’t know what you are facing right now, but I do know the pain, discomfort, and incredibly hard season I am personally in. Some days, it has been a struggle just to get up and move. I have taken a huge break from this blog and my YouTube videos because I am going through the wringer. I haven't felt like I had the gusto to inspire anyone to love and trust Jesus, because my own faith has been rocked.
But I am here to tell you what I believe God shared with me as I’ve struggled to feel His presence and trust His timing for prayers I’ve prayed for 11 years. Life has been challenging. I’ve been through complex trauma and things I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Some of my saddest personal moments are when I feel like God is distant, silent, and not listening to my prayers. I feel left, abandoned, and hopeless. I get scared that God will eventually leave me for real because of a mistake or a thought I can’t instantly fix. My deepest pain comes when I feel sad, upset, and a little mad at God—like I did something bad to make Him angry, and now He is turning His face away and hitting me with "Devastation 3.0."
In those moments, I have two choices to make.
First, I can do the fleshly thing and abandon my faith in Christ. I can chalk it all up to a weird fairytale and go my own way. I can do my own things, follow my own rules, be lord of myself, and depend only on me. I can live for myself and harden my heart.
Or, I can choose the harder path of trusting through the pain and suffering. I can keep my faith, bring my doubts to Jesus, and turn to His Word, the Bible, for answers in my deepest sorrows. I can have deep, meaningful conversations with the Creator of the universe about my struggles and see how I grow in Him. I can trust that the pain Jesus suffered for me on the cross—with no regard for His own suffering and death for my sins—means He truly understands the pain I am experiencing. Maybe Jesus didn’t go through your specific heartbreaking situation while on earth, but you better believe He understands every ounce of your pain.
People often ask, "Why would a loving God allow all these horrible things to happen to His children?" We need to acknowledge that this world is incredibly broken. We are sinful, and there is a holy God who cannot be reached by our own efforts. Yet, God knew the state of the world and how hard it would be for His children. He knew that children would pass away, leaving grieving parents behind. He knew about the sexual trauma that little boys and girls endure. He knew how anxious we would become in the age of social media. He knew this world would have suffering, and that suffering is tied to the human experience.
But God is so loving that He gave up His one and only Son for you and me to redeem everything that has gone wrong, is going wrong, and will go wrong in your life. He is the lifeline you can trust. He is the one you can put your hope in so that you are forgiven for everything you did, and everything that was done to you that makes you shudder with shame.
He promises to be by your side in every single moment. He isn’t silent. He is right there with you. One of God’s names is Yahweh (pronounced yah-way). This name represents the promised faithfulness of God.
Do me a favor and breathe and hear the sound that you make…
He is in the very last breath you took. You said Yawee, with every breath you breathe and your life is being held in the palm of his MIGHTY HANDS. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 If you call on the name of Jesus and put your trust in Him, He will never leave you or forsake you. His perfect life and perfect scorecard become yours. You will have the Holy Spirit of Christ dwelling richly in your soul, giving you comfort, peace, and wisdom whenever you ask.
And the way to hear God is super simple. Lean in closely—are you listening? Read your Bible. Read your Bible. Read your Bible.
If you find God silent, open up His Word and let it do what it is supposed to do: comfort you, encourage you, and give you peace and hope. Let it train you and deliver you from all your fears. God’s Word is medicine to our hearts and minds.
I know for me, I have to ask myself, if I have time to look at my phone and dilly-dally, I have time to turn to the Bible for 5 to 30 minutes each day to find guidance and the biggest love letter ever written.
If you feel nervous about it, ask God for the desire to read it, and ask Him to open your eyes to the words on the page. You are dealing with a living God who desires to have a deep, loving relationship with you.
Three Ways God Answers Prayer
When it comes to unanswered prayers, here is my perspective. I am just a human on a journey, flaws and all. I am no better than anyone else, and I definitely haven't arrived. I am a lifelong student and these are just my personal views of how God has given me wisdom about my prayers to him.
With that said, I believe that when God seems silent to our requests, it usually means one of three things:
He is developing your patience: In the waiting, we learn to trust Him and build a resilient faith, just like the heroes of the Bible.
He is saying "No": He only does this because He is the ultimate Good Father, and He knows what is truly best for you.
He has a better answer: He is setting up a resolution that will bring far more of His glory to light.
It's His Story, Not Ours
The book of Colossians talks about the preeminence of Jesus. It reminds us that “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:17
Jesus is the why, the how, and the reason everything exists.
“The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.” Colossians 1: 15-18
This life and this world are not about you or me. I know it is fun to think we are the bee's knees and that the universe revolves around us! But the ultimate reason we are here is for Jesus’s glory. It is His story. He is the protagonist, the King, and the Star of the show. We are just here to point the spotlight back to Him.
I want to live my life in a way that glorifies Him through it all—both the mountaintops and the deep valleys.
When we lay down our lives, we actually gain them. “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25
When we shift our focus to serving Him, life finally feels like the right fit. It frees us from the stressful, exhausting, and completely overwhelming pursuit of chasing our own glory. May this post have given you some glimmer of hope. May you love and trust Jesus even 1% more than you did when you first came here. I love you to pieces, and I will be saying a prayer for your hurting heart and that Jesus would put the balm of his perfect love on your healing soul.
See you soon, beloved friend.
