4 Reasons To Not Seek "Happy"


it seems like you talk to anyone and things they say are, "I just want to be happy, you know." Or I want to raise my kids so they'll be happy," Or "I just couldn't stay in my marriage, I wasn't happy."  

One definition of Happy is: Feeling or showing pleasure.

I am writing to you with the utmost respect and love and this is in no way wanting to shame you for the times your life is truly happy. I just know I was a "happy" seeker and my life has shown me that there is something more meaningful than living a life chasing pleasure. I also say this with compassion on my self because I'm still very much growing and a work in progress. If you're interested in why I believe with my whole heart that the pursuit of happiness is devastating our generation, please keep reading. 

1.- We have and need other emotions.

Happy is an amazing emotion to feel but realistically what would it look like to feel happy all the time? Is that even possible? What would life really look like if we were able to feel happy all the time? A life devoid of other emotions would corrupt moments like the loss of a loved one. When I lose a loved one the last emotion I want to feel is happy. If my dreams get shattered and I lose an opportunity that I was looking forward to, the last thing I think I want to feel is pleasure. We are all on this journey together and the other emotions our Heavenly Father gave us are a gage of ourselves to check within our souls and learn more! It would be a terrible disservice to our journey here on earth if all we could ever feel was pleasure and happiness. The longing we feel is for our lives in heaven. We will be in a perfect state of bliss in heaven, but that is not our mission here on planet earth. 

2.- You learn most in a season of uncomfortable emotions. 

You've heard the saying, No Pain No Gain, right? I am not advocating self-inflicted harm but what I do want to point out is the importance of digging deep into seasons of uncomfortable emotions. Everyone knows that to get a strong body, you work out. You push your body to its limit so that it can rebuild amazing muscle. In that work-out, your body doesn't feel good. In fact, some would say it's at their body's breaking point of possible change that they are most uncomfortable and want to throw in the towel. In the same regard, picture your emotional self; without challenge- fear - anxiety - doubt - rejection -disappointment - we are just soft fuddidudis seeking our own pleasure and wanting to only satisfy our own needs, rather than seeing the world and its beautiful people as a place to be a part of and give value to!  To show up for others and live our lives as something meaningful. Some of us have callings that have a stage. Some of us have callings to be the head of nations. Some of us have callings that stay at home and care for children. Some of us have callings to be artists. Some of us are smart and have a calling to invent things. There is a calling in all of us and we do change the world by being ourselves. Even if that world is only a baby at this time. We all have a calling, the tricky part is that it's outside of our comfort zone!  It requires us to live life outside the happy lane! I am not opposed to this wonderful emotion, it just trapped me for so long giving me false hope that if I had this... I would finally be happy. That if I accomplished that, I would finally feel happy. That if he treated me like this, I would finally be happy. That if my weight was at that I would.... You get the point! I no longer seek happiness. I've replaced it with a simple prayer to God to help me feel content with my present life, be it in whatever emotion I am in!  I seek Jesus and my calling and have chosen to abandon seeking my own pleasure and turn in and accept some pretty uncomfortable emotions for the sake of knowing God more and myself more. For the sake of becoming all that God died to give me. I can't say that I do this perfectly because I don't. It really is an everyday thing of choosing this life but I know that I am more aware of my "happy" triggers than ever before. I have learned and become more of myself because I've allowed to learn from the seasons of uncomfortable emotions! 

3.- There is a life better than happy in your calling and purpose

It might not make any sense as to why I'm suggesting leaving your pursuit of happiness. But let me share something with you. I've been more ALIVE and feeling like my life has an actual impact and meaning the moment I abandoned the happy train. And in the midst of me leaving, I've still experienced probably some of the purest bouts of happiness I've EVER felt! And you know what? I think it's because I had contrast! I was no longer seeking happiness and doing everything to distract myself from feeling sadness, or grief, or rejection. So I'm learning to sit in those emotions with God. He showed me that "He is before all things and in him, all things  hold together." (Colossians 1:7) I can fall apart at his feet and he has me and he has you, friend. He can handle ALL of your emotions and when you sit in them, you will learn some of the most important lessons of your life that will then give you the character to withstand your calling! Look up James 1: 2-4 The emotions and circumstance you think might kill you are the ones meant to teach you and propel you into your destiny! Don't shy away from them. They truly are just a vibration going through your body and they shall pass! 

4.- Joy is what is always available! 

Joy is the hope that comes from God and his joy is our strength! Joy will anchor your life. No matter what season you're in, you can be assured and know this: God will never leave you and he can turn beauty from ashes, so you need not worry everything has a purpose in your life. Every emotion you feel is seasoned with God's joy that will carry you through the tough ones. It will guide and teach you. But what I have found is that the joy that comes in dark hours was the proof I needed about God being real! It was his joy that kept me alive in my year Through The Wilderness! I am living proof that you can feel your emotions and God will hold you close. that you can find joy in the deepest of pain and out of the ashes a new life is born! 

Than you for reading love. 

Photography by: Doug Reynolds