Learning How To Say No | A Recovering People Pleaser's Insight
Beloved friend. No is a complete sentence.
I am a recovering people pleaser. I did everything and anything to manipulate what people thought about me. It was painful to think that someone might just not like me, I felt so afraid of people’s rejection that I ended up bending over backwards for someone’s “like”. Little did I know that no matter how much I tried or how many times I said yes when I meant NO. Or how much I gave, in-spite of the resentment I felt because I didn’t really want to be giving of myself in that way. Or giving my time or money or whatever the heck it was, people could still not like me. In fact, being a people pleaser meant negating myself respect and honor to my own needs and wants! That meant that deep down, I didn’t life myself. What I’m realizing is that cultivating a great relationship with God first and then myself, is a game-changer! I can be my own best friend and my own best cheer-leader! If I like me in a balanced-God-honoring way, what other people think about me is non of my business. They can have their opinion because theirs about me is a projection of WHO THEY ARE not who I am. Who we are is determined by God and if we believe God, other’s opinions will be just that an opinion coming from the overflow of THEIR heart! I am accepting that not everyone is meant to like me or “get” me! And that’s okay!
I’m still a work in progress however, I have found a new word. NO! NO! Noooooooo! No, I will not go there. No, I will not participate in that. No, I will not help in that way. And you know what? I feel free to be myself. And when I say YES! It’s really a yes that means something to me and others can feel the energy in which I come from with a non-convoluted, yes!
I listened to this podcast, I highly recommend it to you if you struggle with saying, no! It’s episode 35. Breaking the Habit of People Pleasing from Jody Moore’s Better than Happy podcast.
I love you so much have a great week!