How To Love Your Husband During A World Pandemic | Date Night Outfit Inspo

Listen, I should really be the laaaaast person giving you relationship advice, okay. My husband of 12 years knows me full well and he knows I’m not a rainbow cupcake, okay? He knows the very best of me and he also knows the very worst of me. We have been married (what seems like for 100 years) to each other and yet we still make lots of mistakes and we literally just had one of the most challenging years in our marriage last year and we decided to do a marriage retreat that changed our lives. Group, couples therapy for a whole week, mk? That’s why I say maybe you should go read a different post. No, kidding. I think that because we are not perfect and because we totally need Jesus desperately to give us love for one another, you might find some hope for your relationship through our brokenness. As I share the wisdom we’ve gained by leaning into the uncomfortable journey of becoming one and loving more intimately, I pray you’d feel encouragement for your relationship!

We are still figuring it out but we’ve learned a ton! And you know me when I learn something that’s enhanced my life, I wanna share it with you! Isn’t it true that it’s THROUGH the pain and challenges that we evolve to something better if we so chose? I believe that is true because it’s been true of us and our relationship. I know my husband will continue to disappoint me and I know I will continue to do things that hurt him. We both have a sober mindset about what marriage is for; it’s not meant to make us happy, it’s meant to make us more like Jesus. And there will be difficulties and challenges along the way. But the precious gift of a partner who knows all of you and chooses you. That intimacy that says I have experienced the worst of you and will continue to show up with you and for you, praying our way through this challenge is something made out of movies that is only possible with the power of Christ. And it has been one of the most worthwhile endeavors of my life to learn how to love my husband and allow him to love me. Especially in such tight quarters, #amIright?

Here are four things I’ve been practicing in this season of COVID19 World Pandemic, to ensure I am loving and respecting my husband as much as I can. I hope they bless you and give you the tools to navigate this incredibly challenging season!

How To Love Your Husband During A World Pandemic

1.- DEVELOP YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS AND PRAY FOR STRENGTH AND WISDOM TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. Pray for strength and wisdom to know when to say things to your husband. Listen, sister, I' know we all try to be the Holy spirit JR. but God has your husband as much as he convicts you and guides you he is also able to be there for your husband. If you’re not a believer and your husband isn’t either and you want God’s Holy Spirit to guide you all you need to do is pray earnestly, “God, I know that I am a sinner and I want to believe in the power of your salvation, Jesus I accept that I need help and ask that you’d be the king and savior of my heart In Jesus name, Amen. “ God will be so happy you came home and throw you a party! Heck, I’ll be rejoicing with you! If you do decide to give your life to Jesus, don’t expect things to be easy. Trust me that it can be quite disappointing to give your life to the Lord and then feel upset that your life might not instantly “feel” better. It won’t be easy, yet KNOWING LIFE WITH CHRIST IS SO WORTH IT. Life is hard for everyone not because you are a bad or a good person. We are all JUST people and we all need a savior. Salvation, God’s gift of life even in our sin through his sacrifice on the cross and his life, death and resurrection, gives us access to God that we don’t deserve, but it was given to us because of the vast love of God. We often feel like we need to measure up so you’ll try to do things to do the right thing for God but the best way to keep from becoming religious with your relationship with Jesus is to repent and confess your sin often to God and run to the arms of Jesus each time you’ve made a mistake, not away from him. I have realized that through me developing my own relationship with Christ my relationship with my husband is way better. Something I say after I have sinned is this simple prayer. “Jesus, I confess that I have (fill in the blank) I know it was wrong and I ask that you’d forgive me, Lord, I pray for your strength to not fall into that same sin again.”

2.- STAY ON YOUR YARD - What do you mean Libier? Your yard is your mind, heart, and spirit. The only things you have control, real control of fixing, action, and free will. You will know you’re stepping on your husband's yard when he feels manipulated and controlled by you from your words and actions and gets activated and says or does something you don’t like. It’s so easy to try to run other people’s lives and have no self-reflection. it’s not so easy to sit in our own pain and deal with the things that have hurt us or harmed us. But if you're trying to fix your husband you will never have the time to tend to your own heart. What is it that you need today? From yourself? Have you lost sight of who you are? Have you been giving more and more of your time to busy your mind and soul so that you’d have a distraction from your discomfort and pain? Sweetheart. The pain will only get louder and in more aggressive ways. Pain unacknowledged is like a wound full of infection that we try to just put a bandaid over. At some point, the deflection and trying to control others will not be enough. I know it’s scary to deal with past or present pain. But you can do hard things. Pain, real pain teaches us. If what we learn is that our pain matters, what an impact is that to our heart. Your pain matters because YOU matter and are very important to God. What that person did to you that really hurt, matters. The disappointments you’ve had to face, matter. The dreams that never happened, matter. It all matters whether you believe it yet, or not. Let those things impact you and let them hurt. Listen, at the feet of Jesus, wounds and pain get healed and he promises to use everything that was meant against you and turn it around for your good. You have nothing to fear. The emotional pain will not overcome you and you will get to the other side and find freedom from that which has held you captive. Pain sets us free. So tend your yard. If you’ve never been able to do this, ask God with his miraculous power to help you. He is a faithful father who helps his children.

3.- ASK GOD TO HELP YOU SEE YOUR HUSBAND AS HE SEES HIM- I have never prayed a better prayer for my marriage. When Doug is being a stinker pot, I know that he has to be hurting. I used to think that he had no vulnerabilities or that he didn’t feel fear or anxiety like I did. And as I’ve prayed to God to help me see my husband as he sees him, he’s softened the way I look at him. From my upbringing the notion that men can have “feelings” ALL kinds of feelings wasn’t really clear. I started becoming curious about why my husband reacted to me in certain situations, instead of judgemental. I started praying for him rather than condemning him in my head when he hurt me. I started asking God to give me compassion for this man I use to hold on a pedestal. And instead of a Night And Shining Armor, Doug became my King - Under- My - King (Meagan Good Franklin used that term on her Instagram) I loved it!! So I call Doug, my KingUnderMyKing. When I see Doug as a fellow human needing Jesus just as much as I do, I debunk my expectations of what he “should” be like in any given situation. It’s not fair to hold our husbands up to a standard that only belong to Jesus. Your husband can’t help you feel differently about yourself. That’s a job reserved for you and the Lord.

4.- BECOME A GREAT LISTENER - Make yourself safe (ask God to help you feel safe and ask him to ground you when you need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband) when your husband needs to share his feelings or share an opinion you might not 100% agree with. Ask God to help you to only be a listener and to really seek to understand and validate your husband’s emotions. Listen, sis. Just because you don’t agree with him doesn't mean his feelings don’t matter. You can disagree and even have an opinion about a situation but being heard and validated by our spouse is super important. And it takes practice to learn how to listen to one another without trying to give advice, offer your opinion or interject in any way with our agenda and solely be the listening ears and heart our spouse needs. Doug and I have had some amazing and beautiful conversations when we practice being an active listener. And I always ask God to help me be better and he always does!

BONUS TIP: When I feel insecure instead of wanting my husband to make me feel confident, I run to Jesus. Because only he is able and capable to give me the insatiable, unfailing, never-ending love and acceptance I have craved from my husband.

I hope this post will bless your home and your relationship with your boo. You are not alone if you feel hopeless towards your marriage, you are not alone if you feel like your marriage is messy, you are not alone if you feel like maybe divorce would be easier. Sometimes we think it’s far too gone, but GOD!!! He is mighty to save. I will be praying for you that God would do what he does best in the midst of messes and dispair. When we invite Him into the mess, Jesus is a restorer of lives! He works in miraculous ways so don’t have an expectation of how he’ll do it, or the timing of such miracles. Just be in hopeful expectation that he has heard your prayer and he is sending an answer. Believe God above all else. It’s more important to look like a fool to man and look faithful to your Heavenly Father.

Here’s a prayer I often pray over my husband. I invite you to pray for yours as well.

“Dear heavenly Father. I lift up my husband to your loving heart. I ask that you would remind him how much you love him just for him being your son and nothing else. I pray in the name of Jesus for the healing of any wounds in his heart in need of the perfect balm of your love and compassion. I pray that you’d encourage my husband to be the best man, husband, father, son, friend, employee /boss he can be. I lift up his dreams to you and ask that you’d help me to be an encouraging wife that lifts him up with my actions and words. I pray that you’d tear down any lies the enemy has fed him about his identity. I pray over the stress in his life right now and ask that your perfect peace would wash over him. Lord, be his shield when temptation of any kind comes against him. I pray for our communication and healthy boundaries. I pray for our sexual health, Lord give him eyes only for me and help me to be enamored by him so I’ll feel soft and sensual towards him when he approaches me sexually because I know that takes courage. I pray that you’d give him wisdom for our finances, help us be faithful with what you have given us. Give us a giving heart. Helps us to be honest and make wise choices in all the areas of our lives. I pray for my husband to feel like a lion full of courage to lead his family with a heart yielded to you. I pray you’d help me to be respectful to him and that you’d soften my words toward him. I pray for any anxiety or depression he might be experiencing to be banished and ask you to strengthen his faith. I pray for Godly friends for him to keep him company. I pray for his heart. And I pray for his mouth that he would learn how to speak life and combat life’s challenges with your word which is powerful. I pray my husband would see himself as you see him. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.”

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