How To Stop Feeling Jealous Of Other Women & Cute Fall Outfits

Photography by:  Francesca Ross Photography

I can't imagine my life without prayer, sisterhood and cute outfits. These photos are from an event I spoke at last year for my home church. Chrissy Cole the pastor of Project, is a huge advocate for sisterhood. I've experienced her first-hand encouragement in my life (thus me being all up on her pristine, beautiful, frame!) And I will say something when you are down, your sister can lift your spirits, when you are up your sister can rejoice with you! There is power in community!

We just had another event last night that reminded me of the importance of building your sisters up. This world teaches us that for us to shine we need to be better, prettier, more successful than our gal pals. This world will tell you that if you don't tear and gossip about the girls you feel threatened by, that you will remain unseen. This world will say that if "she" succeeds, you suck.  That if she just got something you wanted, you won't be able to get it yourself. I don't know if it's human nature or woman nature to automatically dive into pride as soon as another woman walks in a room. I will say that there is hope for these feelings. I don't think there will ever be a time where we won't need to manage our minds with these threats. The Bible calls us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)" That's because we all have thoughts that aren't in-line with what God would want us to dwell on! So even when we've gone to battle with these feelings of jealousy, comparison, hate, and slander, we must always remain vigilant of our thoughts. 

Feelings of lack, jealousy, envy, coveting, and even hate, feel awful!!!   Let me respectfully suggest something to you. The way you feel is a correlation of what you are thinking and speaking of your life and the people who surround you. You can let the jealousy of a friend of yours become so deep that all you see is a scoreboard to compete against. She might not even be playing against you, but you will feel awful because nothing good comes from those thoughts. On the contrary when you have thoughts of abundance and you are able to love who you are in Christ and be able to encourage yourself, then you can encourage others!

I have done both. I've been jealous. I've gossiped. I've felt threatened by other women. I have also done the mental work and spiritual surrender to feeling loved and accepted by God (Jesus is why we are worthy, nothing we can do but a gift we can receive!) and it has resulted in me loving myself and therefore I can genuinely love other women without feeling lack or threatened. It feels so much better to love other women. It feels amazing to pay a compliment to someone that before would have threatened my own beauty or talent or worth. It feels so much better to know that if God is helping her win he will also help me because he is a God of abundance!!!! Can somebody say abundance!? Amen! 

If you are struggling with any of these awful feelings here's how to search backward at the thoughts that are making you feel jealousy and pride. I believe God can set you free! 

1.- Do you know your worth? Do you struggle with feeling insignificant or like you are either better or worse than others?  My suggestion would be to pay close attention to the thoughts and words you speak over yourself throughout this week. Really listen without judgment. Ask God to guide you in changing the way you see yourself. Ask the Lord to give you a glimpse of how he sees you. Lack of worth just means you've been believing the lies about you, instead of the truth of who and who's you are! God will delight in showing you the truth! 

2.- Do you have a mindset of abundance or lack? Which of these sentences play most often in your thoughts or speech? And are you willing to make a change? 

"She has it all. I could never pull that off. Of course, she gets to do that! That could never be me. Why does God give all the gifts to one person? " 

Or do you think? 

"There is plenty for all. I am wanted and so is she. I am God's favorite daughter, but so is she. We all have something beautiful to share. I am so glad God made her like that so I can enjoy her gifts and talents! I am valuable and so is she no matter how different we are!"

The way you think will have a huge impact on the life you live! You'll look for the evidence of either of these two examples over and over again. What your mind thinks it seeks. And what you reap you will sow. I know that I'd rather sow abundance and grace. Truth and mercy, rather than jealousy and pride. 

These can be a guiding compass to your heart and it's condition, God won't be judgmental toward you, he'll love you into healing!  When you involve God in helping you become free, he will stop at nothing to help you get there. I believe in your sister! I hope you have a gorgeous rest of your week and remember you are worth it.